“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all of the trouble.”
– Raymond Hull
Getting married is a big deal. Aside from committing yourself to another human being for the rest of your life, you’re throwing a party that is more expensive than your first car, bringing two families together where somebody’s relative will most likely anger one, or more, of the other person’s relatives… it’s exhausting.
The most stressful bits, however, are saved for the two people who are merging their homes together. Years and years worth of stuff that fill two residences, all of a sudden, have to fit into one. And moving that stuff, “but no, not that stuff”… it’s a rite-of-passage for every couple.
When my wife and I moved in together, we had it relatively easy because we rented an 1800 square-foot loft. We didn’t have to make many decisions on what stayed or went because of the space and the fact that I had never designed any aspect of the places I lived as a single adult. We did find though, that sharing a bed 100% of the time, especially with the addition of a dog, made the previously spacious queen mattress feel pretty cramped.
If Back To The Future was our reality, I’d power up my flux capacitor and go back in time to ask our wedding guests to, “Please, please, contribute whatever you were going to spend on this king-sized bed and mattress. You will also be giving my wife the hours of sleep she’s going to lose because she has yet to see how I toss and turn for hours on nights where I can’t shut my brain off…. Surprise, honey….”
If I knew then what I know now…
We had so many people give us advice on how to go about planning the wedding or how to ensure years of happy marriage after the ceremony. But nobody had anything to say about moving in together and how your registry can make the transition easier and more enjoyable.
So I’d like to fix that for people who have yet to get to that place in their lives.
Find the one, or two, depending on the size of your wedding, things you love to do most together. If it’s entertaining, then use your registry to allow you reach your greatest, host-with-the-most potential. If you have a large group of friends, you’ll need a larger table and seating to accommodate. If you love stay-home-with-Netflix nights, perhaps you can register for a U-shaped sectional that ensures both of you get the ‘good spot’ on the couch.
So much thought goes into every aspect of a wedding. Make sure you put some thought into what goes onto your registry. After all, aside from each other, the pictures and the memories, the gifts you receive are what will stay with you the longest. Ask for the things that matter.
Or, you could always hold out for the flux capacitor…